Challenge 14: The Results

Right so I haven’t done a “results” post for aaaages, and a few peeps were asking why, so I thought I’d bring it back…

For the past week I decided to go all salesman Pete on the fine people of Southport (and surrounding areas).

And what did I learn?

Well, mainly that the general public are batshit crazy.

My main tactic was to post the items on  Southport Buy Sell and Swap – a Facey group that lets you post your stuff for free. Pretty good idea really, so thanks for that, Zuckerberg.

Anyway, my first sale was this coffee machine:


Now,  I’ve never used it. In fact, it was left to me from the previous tenant. I don’t know much about coffee machines, so I popped it on for a tenna, and the offers started pouring in.

I did not expect so much interest.

After selling it to some woman from St Helens…

Yep that’s right. This woman drove 18.9 miles, to purchase a £10 coffee machine.

…I realised that I’d done myself out of a tidy profit.

Once she arrived, she started to ask me what size pods it took: “the big ones, or the small ones?”

Of course, I had no idea. I guessed the small ones, to which her face dropped. I then changed my pitch to the big ones, and she seemed happy enough. So I took her £10 and wished her well.

Next I went for the couches. I decided my couches were worth at least £70 – they’re vintage leather after all!! I mean, look at how beautiful they are:


Sure enough, I got a buyer interested straight away. Brilliant, I thought – more cash in the old Amsta fund!!

And then it hit me. The couches look pretty wide, and my door frame, well it’s pretty narrow.

Turns out, the couches wouldn’t fit through the door. Not without the help of a joiner to take the doorframe off, at least.

So they ended up looking like this:



Mid week strolls around and I get a call from my removal man. Yep that’s right, I have a removal man. He was calling to express his concern for the size of my items that I wanted shipping.

Just to give you a bit of background. I’m allowed a 20ft shipping container worth of stuff to ship to Amsterdam. Now that’s pretty big. I mean, it’s like this big:


And I have like zero stuff. I’m basically taking a bed, a TV, a mirror, a small fridge, some clothes, and a few cushions.

So previous to this phone call, I had measured up all my stuff and sent them to Alex (removal man). And I sent everything to him in metres, which apparently isn’t a normal way of measuring.

As it so happens, my tape measure was in centimetres, not metres. And because I’m literally a moron, I had sent him measurements like:

  • Mirror: 120 x 40 metres
  • MINI fridge: 80 x 46 metres
  • Rug: 170 x 125 metres

Which I’ve now been informed, is like the size of a building.


But we laughed it off. He even tried to make me feel better by saying he gets mixed up with measurements too. I mean, if his job wasn’t ‘professional international removal man’ then I’d feel slightly better about my life.

So, back to the sales!!

By Thursday, I had made my biggest sale yet! Yep, I sold my car. This was a sad day for me, but a happy day for my bank balance…sooo swings and roundabouts I guess.



Finally, I put on a few pieces of house décor / wall hangings to the group. Now, as you can see from the below screenshot, it’s very clearly labelled in both price, and description as to what they are.


First comment: “How does this work?”

Erm… you give me money, I give you desired item.

Second comment: “Are the elephants air fresheners?”

No, they are wall hangings, as clearly stated in the listing.

Third comment: ” I would like to buy two. How much are they?”

To which point, I private messaged this lady to explain that they were £5 each, and asked her what time she could pick them up.

Pick up what?”


I then gave her my address, with postcode. To which she later messaged me saying that she was at number 9 (I live at 7), outside the vets (there is no vets down my road).

But jokes aside, I’ve enjoyed this week! I’ve managed to sell most of my stuff…to which I credit my hilarious descriptions:


And of course, cheeky bants:


Hmm, maybe I’m the one that’s batshit cray?

I also sold various other items such as:

  • A bike helmet
  • Bike lock
  • Gym stuff
  • Bookcase
  • Chest of Drawers

But these all went to relatively normal people, so not much I can say here.

I don’t think I’m going to make it to Wolf of Wall Street status anytime soon, but I did make a grand total of: £3270.

Granted, one item cost a lot more than others, BUT STILL, not bad hey???

Thanks for reading this monster post 😀



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